The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.
Susie said “We live on a farm and I was collecting eggs from the hen house one day. I gathered the eggs and put them in my basket and set off running toward the house. While running I tripped over a rock and smashed all of the eggs.”
“So what’s the moral of the story Susie?” Asked the teacher.
“Don’t put all of your eggs in one basket,” said Susie. Next it was Billy’s turn to go.
“We also live on a farm,” said Billy. “We have incubators to help our eggs hatch. One night there was a thunderstorm and lightning knocked out the power to the incubators.”
“So what’s the moral of that story Billy?” Asked the teacher.
“Don’t count your chickens before they hatch,” said Billy.
The teacher turned to Janie. “Janie, do you have a story to share?’
“Yes ma’am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.
She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.
“Good Heavens,’ said the horrified teacher. ‘What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?”
“He said don’t mess with Mommy when she’s been drinking.”
A school hired a new Spanish teacher fresh out of college.
On the teacher’s first day, the principal decides to sit in her class to observe.
He sits down next to Little Johnny.
As the class progresses, the teacher writes a sentence in Spanish on the board.
Suddenly, she drops the chalk on the floor and bends down to pick it up.
When she straightens back up, she asks the class to translate the sentence she just wrote.
Little Johnny raises his hand and says,
“If the skirt was a bit shorter, I’d hit it.”
Naturally flustered, the teacher yells out,
“Johnny! That is disgusting and very rude! Get out of my class right now!”
As Little Johnny is packing his things, he hits the principal on the head with his Spanish textbook and says.
“And you Mister, if you don’t know sh!t, keep your d@mn mouth shut!”
🤣🤣
