We want our wedding day to be one of the most wonderful times in our lives, and we want all of our loved ones to be there to celebrate with us. Unfortunately, Lynn was forced to pick between her father and stepfather to attend the significant event. Despite her decision at the time, Lynn eventually felt tremendous regret after comprehending the consequences. She contacted us for advice.
My stepdad, Pat, raised me since I was 9, as my dad was often away for work. My dad always hated Pat. Mom tried to calm things between them, even until she passed away last year.
For my wedding, I wanted my dad to walk me down the aisle. My dad agreed and said that he would even pay all the expenses, but he had one condition: Pat can’t attend the ceremony.
I was shattered because I love my stepdad. But as I had lost my mom, I wanted at least my dad to be present, so I had no other choice but to tell Pat not to come. He agreed and didn’t say another word.
On the big day, as dad was walking me down the aisle, Pat left the country and wrote me a letter. I was shocked to find it a few days later and couldn’t stop crying as I read it.
In it, he explained how much he loved me and my mom and how he dreamt of seeing me on my wedding day.
He said he never expected that I would deny him that right. He declared, “There is one last thing you should know: the real parent is not the one who gives you money and shows up whenever they want; it’s the person who holds your hand and mends your sorrows as you grow up.”
In the last sentence, he added, “I want you to know that I still love you very much, but since you didn’t fight for me to witness your big day, then maybe we shouldn’t be in each other’s lives at all.”
My world crumbled as I read these words. Pat has raised me, and I don’t want him out of my life, but I think what I did hurt him so much that there is no going back.
How can I fix this?
