Desperate for guidance, a woman posted her experience on the ‘Am I the A**hole’ forum, outlining a terrible event with her lover and his bad anal hygiene.
In mid-May, the original poster (OP) mentions that while taking a shower with her partner, she found some concerning information about the man she loves.
“I recently learned that my boyfriend does not wash his butt in the shower.” She elaborates, “We were taking a shower together, and I saw that he applied soap to his hand and carefully massaged it over his body. He stated that he showers with his hands rather than a loofa, washcloth, etc.
While not using a shower scrubby isn’t cause for concern, she goes on to reveal something unexpected.
“I also observed that he did not wash his buttocks. He explained that when he takes a shower, the water rinses over his buttocks, and that is how he washes it.
Not wanting to shame the man, but intending to turn it into a teaching moment, the OP then gently explained how he should properly bathe himself.
“I tried to be kind, since perhaps his parents had never taught him how to shower properly. I advised him he should open his cheeks and wash in the crack. I assumed we had reached an agreement that he would do so.”
Refuses to clean crack
A few days later, the woman decided to check up on her boyfriend and see if his hygiene improved since their earlier conversation.
She writes, “I’ve asked him if he has washed his butt since…He said no that he thought it was nasty to stick his hand in there to wash it.”
Following this chat with the man, the author of the post is now wondering if she should split from the man.
“This time I am starting to distance myself from the relationship. [In my opinion] he is a grown man that doesn’t practice basic hygiene. In his opinion, he needs time to get comfortable with the idea of it,” she shares.
Before asking Redditors, “AITA for breaking up with my [boyfriend] because he doesn’t wash his butt?” the author adds, “I can’t tell if I’m being too harsh on him or if my wanting to end things is justified. Do I throw away the best partner I’ve ever had over this?”
‘Open sewer’
The online community voted unanimously in favor of the woman, saying “NTA.”
“I’m a dude. Your boyfriend is gross,” one user observes.
A medical professional offered her thoughts on the matter, “As a nurse who has unfortunately seen WAY too many men with unwashed butts, it IS gross.”
A third jokes, “You can lure a man to shower, but you can’t make him bathe.”
Meanwhile, others referenced an absurd theory that involves a “significant population of men who believe it’s ‘gay’ to wash or even properly wipe their own asses.”
“There is a (small, I hope) group of people that think washing ones butt makes one gay. How they expect to attract any women while smelling like an open sewer is something they have not yet been able to explain,” shares one user.
Offering an explanation on her nose not identifying any foul smells, the author adds, “I lost my smell back in October 2020 from covid and never got it back.”
