When we think of family, we typically envision love, support, and harmony. But what happens when those relationships become strained due to unreasonable expectations and misguided responsibilities?
Recently, a woman wrote a heartfelt letter. She’s a frustrated sister and aunt caught up in a whirlwind of family strife. After firmly setting boundaries and resolving a parenting issue, she now finds herself subjected to silent treatment by the entire family, as well as demands for an apology from her sister.
We received a heartfelt letter from one of our readers, who remained anonymous.
She began her letter, “My sister has two children that she regularly dumps on me or our mother. And lately, it’s grown terrible, producing a major family schism.”
The reader’s sister often takes advantage of her family’s kindness to babysit her son.
“Alex, my younger sister, has always been a free-spirited person. Not even marriage and children could slow her down. She’s constantly trying to dump her children on me and our mother. I can’t take my nephews very often because I’ve been studying for my master’s degree, but our mother ends up babysitting them several days a week — and let’s just say, she’s not in her prime anymore!
I tried to persuade Mom that this wasn’t fair and that Alex could easily find a babysitter, but no one listened to me.”
After our reader graduated, her sister began dumping her kids on her for all sorts of reasons.
“I just graduated and, surprise, I am unemployed. And, of course, my sister couldn’t pass up the opportunity to have another free babysitter — me.
At first, I was thrilled to spend time with my nephews. She’d bring them over once a week, with plenty of notice. But after a few weeks, she began turning up unexpectedly 3-4 times per week with the most preposterous excuses. When I protested, she would simply shrug and say, ‘But you’re free.’
But she passed the line yesterday. She called and asked me to babysit so she could spend time with her friends. I suppose I should give her points for being honest this time. When I told her I had a big interview with my dream company, she said, ‘Family comes first.’ That was the last straw. I snapped and yelled that I wasn’t her free babysitter, then hung up.”
20 minutes later, something happened that our reader never expected.
“Twenty minutes later, the doorbell rings. I opened the door and saw my nephews standing alone on my porch, carrying backpacks that their frugal mother had meticulously prepared for them.
She just brought them in and then left without saying anything. You have no idea how angry I was! I couldn’t leave them alone, nor could I miss the interview. So, out of desperation, I begged my neighbor to watch the kids for a few hours.”
Our reader couldn’t handle her sister’s attitude anymore and decided to teach her a lesson.
“After the interview, I went to pick up my nephews from my neighbor’s house. My rage and desire for vengeance took over, and I decided it was time to show their neglected mother a lesson. I knew precisely where she would be: at the cafe with her pals. So I marched in, put the kids off, and told the receptionist to send them over to my sister’s table, saying, ‘Babysitting hours are officially finished.’
A few minutes later, she called my phone, but I did not answer. Eventually, I just blocked her number.”
The sister managed to turn their mother against our reader, and now it feels like the whole family is siding against her.
“About 20 minutes later, my mother called, and gosh, she came in hot. ‘You’re such a selfish aunt and sister! How could you abandon your poor nephews like that? You can reschedule your interview. It wouldn’t be a huge deal. They are your family—your blood!’ I was astounded by the utter devaluation of it all. When did spending time with friends become more important than attending a job interview?
So, it’s been two weeks after the Great Family Drama, and here’s where we stand: my Mom is silent, and my sister is expecting an apology (spoiler alert: she won’t get one since I’m confident I was completely correct).
How do I get my point across to my family without it turning into Big Drama? And how do I finally set some proper boundaries? Honestly, did I mess up here, or am I just dealing with a case of entitled parent syndrome?”
