Ninety-four-year-old Grandma Ethel
Ninety-four-year-old Grandma Ethel walks into her church one quiet morning and heads straight for the confession booth. She steps inside, settles onto the seat, and clears her throat.
On the other side of the screen, the priest smiles gently and says, “Welcome, my child. What would you like to confess?”
Ethel sighs dramatically. “Father, I have a confession. Last night, I went out with a 22-year-old man. He took me to dinner, we danced, we laughed, and then…” she pauses for effect, “…we went back to his place.”
The priest nearly drops his rosary. “My goodness,” he says carefully. “And… did something inappropriate happen?”
Ethel bursts into laughter, cackling so hard the booth shakes. “Oh no, Father,” she says between giggles. “Nothing like that.”
Relieved, the priest exhales. “Well then, what exactly are you confessing, my child?”
Ethel leans closer to the screen and whispers proudly, “I’m confessing that I lied to him about my age… and I’d do it again.”
The priest sits there stunned, then slowly starts laughing himself.
Sometimes the real sin isn’t what you did — it’s how confidently you got away with it.
My daughter just walked into the living room and said “Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out of the window, take my TV, and stereo, and iPhone, and iPod, and my laptop.
Please take all of my jewellery to the Salvation Army or Cash Converters.
Then sell my new car, take my front door key away from me and throw me out of the house.
Then disown me and never talk to me again. And don’t forget to write me out of your will and leave my share to my brother.”
Well, she didn’t put it quite like that… she actually said…
“Dad, this is my new boyfriend,
John came back from a safari in Africa.
Upon arrival, he went to his friend Mark, and told him of his adventures:
“I was out in the jungle.” He said.
“When all of a sudden I heard a noise in the bush behind me.
