My date was going PERFECTLY. Amazing connection, I was smitten until the bill came, and he pulled out a coupon. My jaw DROPPED. Seeing the couple at the table next to us trying to stifle their laughter, I felt so CHEAP, I threw some cash on the table, and blurted out, “Wow, you’re really a cheapskate,” and stormed out. Now I’m second-guessing myself.
I (27F) met this guy Mark (29M) through a mutual friend. After texting for a week, we decided to meet at this trendy new Italian place downtown.
My date was charming, witty, handsome… this date was ticking all the boxes! Then came the bill. He smiles and reaches into his wallet… and pulls out a freaking COUPON. Not even a discreet one, but a bright yellow “buy one, get one free” monstrosity from the local newspaper. My jaw hit the floor. I tried to keep my composure, but I could feel my face burning with embarrassment. The waiter’s expression said it all – a mix of pity and secondhand embarrassment.
Mark noticed my reaction and said, “Is something wrong? I always try to be financially smart. These deals are great!”
I couldn’t believe he was defending it. “We’re on a first date,” I said, trying to keep my voice down. “This isn’t about being financially smart, it’s about making a good impression!”
He replied, “I think being responsible with money is making a good impression. I’m a financial advisor, actually. I help people build wealth by making smart choices, even small ones.”
I couldn’t take it anymore. I pulled out my wallet, threw enough cash on the table to cover my portion, and said, “Wow, you’re really a cheapskate. Well, here’s a smart choice for you – I’m leaving. Thanks for the… interesting evening.”
I grew up watching my mom get embarrassed by my dad’s extreme coupon habit. He’d make scenes at restaurants and stores, arguing over expired coupons and “fine print.” It was humiliating. Maybe I’m projecting, but using coupons on a first date feels like a red flag to me.
Later that evening, Mark texted: “I’m confused. Being financially conscious is part of who I am. I could have hidden it, but I believe in being authentic from the start.”
My friends are divided. Half say I’m shallow and overreacted to someone being financially responsible. The other half understand my position – there’s a time and place for coupons, and a first date isn’t it.
Now I’m second-guessing myself. Did I let my past cloud my judgment of what could have been a great relationship?
Or was I right to trust my instincts about compatibility? The meal was at a mid-range restaurant, around $25-30 per entrée. And yes, he was going to pay for the whole meal before I threw money on the table and left.
What do you think I should do? He’s been sending thoughtful messages acknowledging my feelings but also standing firm on his values. Should I give him another chance?
