A father posted his experience on the “AITA” subreddit, explaining that he and his ex-wife split when their children, now 15 and 12, were small. They first shared custody 50/50, but after his ex-wife remarried, he stopped providing spousal support.
Around the time he shared the story, his ex-wife’s husband abandoned her. But he gave her the house where the two lived.
OP was uninterested in learning more about their breakup or financial issues.
The scenario changed unexpectedly when his ex called to ask for food. She claimed that she ran out of money and was unable to afford meals for herself and her children. OP agreed to examine her request and said he’d call her back.
After consulting with his live-in girlfriend, OP prepared a freezer full of elk, deer, and wild hog, as well as a pantry loaded with beef, pig, and chicken, and delivered it to his ex. The issue worsened when he called his ex-wife and offered her a large haul of food.
She refused to accept it and requested cash instead, claiming she would purchase lunch herself. However, the OP stated that he had given her and the kids two weeks’ supply of food and that giving her cash for takeout was out of the question.
This angered his ex-wife. She began to call him names and said the food he brought her was’scraps.’ He said that he had brought an abundance of freezer meat, canned veggies, fresh garden produce, and unopened packets of pasta and rice.
Driven by his children’s well-being, especially given their love of hunting and his older son’s culinary skills. OP stood firm. Convinced he was addressing his ex’s wants, he told his partner not to pack anything.
After contacting his children and telling them that he would address any hunger worries, they stated that food was accessible and only needed to be prepared. “Both of them also suggested that if I could spare some of the elk and hog roasts, they would accept them. “I laughed and said I’d take them over later,” the user wrote.
This, however, got OP into difficulty because his ex accused him of putting her into the position of a “housewife” while supposedly disregarding their children’s nutritional demands.
Some family members believed he should have given her the money and supported his ex, but OP remained steadfast in his conviction.
As expected, practically all of the responses on his post indicated that he was NTA.
“Definitely NTA- there’s no reason to be giving her money. She asked for help with food you were readily willing to give her some of your food! But she doesn’t want/need help with food,” one person wrote.
“She wants/needs money. With 50/50 custody you shouldn’t have to give her any money. If she absolutely needs it she will have to apply for government benefits. She’s being ridiculous,” the person concluded.
“NTA. You used the same approach I use with panhandlers. I will buy food for them and give them the food, but I will not give them money. And it’s quite disappointing how few people will let me buy them a sandwich or a meal when they want money,” added another commenter.
“NTA, I’m confused on why she thinks preparing food for her kids is being manipulated into being a housewife… it’s called being a normal parent. Clearly, she’s nobody’s housewife anyways,” a third expressed.
What are your thoughts on this?
