While showing off his new apartment to friends one night, a drunk man led the way to his bedroom where there was a huge clock on the wall with a big brass gong.
“What’s that brass gong for?” asked one of the guests.
“Why, that’s the talking clock,” the man replied.
“How does it work?” asked a second friend.
“Watch,” the man said, giving it an ear-shattering pound with a hammer.
Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, “For heaven’s sake, you jerk, it’s 2 a.m in the morning!”
One day, an elderly man Jimmy was walking down the main street when he saw his old buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup.
Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin.
“Bubba, where did you get that truck?!”
“Mary gave it to me,” Bubba replied.
“Did she give it to you?” I knew she was kinda sweet on ya, but a new truck?”
“Well, Jimmy, let me tell you what happened. We were driving out on County Road 6, in the middle of nowhere. Mary pulled off the road, but the truck in 4-wheel drive and headed into the woods.”
‘Bubba, take whatever you want.’
So I took the truck!
“You are a smart man, Bubba!” These clothes woulda never fit you.”
