Desperation can force a soldier to seek sanctuary in the most unexpected and sacred of places.
Panting and completely out of breath, a young private sprinted up to a nun on a busy city sidewalk. “Sister, please!” he begged, his eyes wide with panic. “Can I hide under your long skirt? I’ll explain later, I swear!”
Recognizing his sheer terror, the nun silently nodded and hoisted her heavy robes so he could dive underneath.
Just seconds later, two aggressive Military Police officers skidded around the corner. “Sister!” one gasped, catching his breath. “Did a soldier just run past you?”
The nun calmly pointed down the block. “He went that way, officers. Fast as lightning.”
The MPs barked their thanks and sprinted off. Once the coast was completely clear, the private crawled out from beneath the habit, brushing off his uniform.
“I can’t thank you enough, Sister,” he panted, wiping the sweat from his forehead. “You see, my deployment order came in, and I am absolutely terrified of going to war.”
“I understand completely, my son,” the nun replied softly.
The soldier smiled nervously, looking down at the pavement. “I hope this isn’t too disrespectful to say, Sister, but while I was down there… I couldn’t help but notice you have an absolutely spectacular pair of legs!”
The nun looked left, looked right, and gave him a knowing smirk.
“If you had looked a little higher, buddy, you would have seen a spectacular pair of balls. I don’t want to get deployed either!”
