His mother said she didn’t have enough money to buy him a new bike but suggested that if he wrote to Jesus promising to be a good boy in the future, then maybe Jesus might be willing to get him one.
So the boy started writing out a letter. ‘Dear Jesus, I promise to be good for one year…’ He then crossed it out and wrote: ‘Dear Jesus, I promise to be good for one month.’
Still he wasn’t happy, so he crossed it out and wrote: ‘Dear Jesus, I promise to be good for one week.’ His head in a spin, he tore up the paper and went for a walk.
As he passed the local church, he noticed a nativity scene. When nobody was looking, he grabbed the figure of Mary, hid it under his coat and ran home.
There he composed a new letter. ‘Dear Jesus, if you ever want to see your mother again…’
A man sat in the pub.
He had been there all day from 3 onwards. As sunset was approaching he was still there. Midnight was closing time so the bartender asked him to leave.
The man, now very, very drunk from a day of non-stop drinking, stood up and fell over flat on his face. He tried standing up again, once again falling flat on his face. He tried it one more time and after the same result he decided to crawl to his home, it was only two blocks away after all.
After an exhausting crawl he had finally managed to crawl up the steps to the door and somehow unlock the door. Once inside, and with great effort having locked the door again, he decided he would get a telling off from the misses if he woke her by coming up the stairs and lay on the couch.
Next morning he was woken up by the misses, who was clearly furious: “Have you been drinking all day again?” She hissed.
The man said:” ‘course not darling.”
She got angrier and said: “ don’t lie! The bar called… you forgot your wheelchair there again!”
