A man comes home late at night.
When he enters the bedroom, he sees his wife lying stark n@ked on the b*d, her lipstick smeared, completely sweaty and bre@thing heavily.
He immediately panics: “Honey, what’s wrong?! Are you okay?”
She gro@ns in @gony: “My heart… I think… I’m having a heart att@ck…”
The man runs out of the room like a shot, down the stairs to the phone to call an ambulance. Just as he dials the number, his four-year-old son shuffles out of the children’s room, rubs his eyes, and says: “Daddy… there’s a n@ked man in Mommy’s wardrobe playing hide-and-seek.”
The father drops the phone in shock, boils with rage, runs back up the stairs, storms into the bedroom and throws open the closet door.
Indeed: There stands his best friend, completely n@ked and trembling.
The man shouts at him in disbelief: “Tell me, are you completely crazy?! My wife is lying here dy-ing of a heart att@ck, and you’re playing hide-and-seek with the child?!”
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A couple is celebrating their golden wedding anniversary.
A friend asks the couple how they have managed to be so happy for so long without ever arguing.
The woman says that they have established rules for all the little things in everyday life, which they both adhere to.
This prevents those stupid situations from arising in the first place, which then lead to arguments.
The friend asks if she could give an example.
The woman replies that, for example, they have towels in the bathroom with an A or a G embroidered on them.
The A stands for face and the G for butt-0cks. That way, you’d never mix up the towels.
The man hears this, turns pale and stammers, “I thought that stood for @ss and face”.
