My husband (M35) and I (F32) have been married for 6 years, and we have two beautiful children together. I love my husband and his family, and I’ve always done my best to be supportive of them. Recently, my mother-in-law was diagnosed with lung cancer.
It’s been a difficult time for everyone, and we’re all rallying around her to give her the support she needs. My husband has been particularly affected by this, and he’s been doing everything he can to make her feel loved and comfortable. Mark himself is bald and has been since his early twenties.
Here’s where things get tricky. The other day, my husband approached me with a hesitant look on his face.
“Sweetheart, I’ve been thinking,” he began cautiously “Since mom has started chemotherapy and her hair’s falling out, I thought… maybe you could shave your head in solidarity with her”
I was stunned, and my heart started racing “Mark, I love your mom, and I want to support her in any way I can. But shaving my head is a huge decision. It’s not just about appearance, it’s about my identity, my confidence.
I’m not sure if I’m ready for that Mark’s face fell, and I could see the disappointment in his eyes. “Please, just think about it,” he said quietly before leaving the room.
The next day, I had made up my mind. I couldn’t bring myself to shave my head. I found Mark sitting on the couch, and I sat down next to him
“Mark, I’ve given it a lot of thought, and I can’t do it. I want to support your mom in every way I can, but shaving my head is just too much for me
His face turned red with anger. “Why can’t you just do this one thing for my mom?!” he yelled, his voice echoing through the house.
I felt my eyes well up with tears. “I’m sorry” I whispered, getting up and leaving the room
The following day, Mark left the house without saying a word. Since then, he’s been staying with his brother, and we’ve only exchanged a few terse text messages. I’ve been replaying the conversation in my head over and over again, wondering if I’m being selfish and unsupportive.
To make matters worse, Mark’s sister shaved her head in solidarity with her mother, which has only increased my guilt. Am I Wrong for Hesitating to Shave My Head for My Mother-in-Law?
I’m struggling with a difficult decision, and I need your perspective. My mother-in-law is undergoing cancer treatment, and I’ve been asked to shave my head in solidarity. While I want to be supportive, I’m not sure if I’m comfortable with this request. What do you think I should do?
