Managing relationships with ex-partners, particularly when children are involved, may be difficult. Today’s scenario becomes even more complicated as the woman deals with her husband’s ex, who believes they should provide financial help to her and her children.
“My husband has two children from his previous marriage and I have one of my own. We do not have any kids together.
His ex-wife and their children live nearby, around 20 minutes away. She initially exhibited some bothersome behavior, but nothing significant.
She’s entitled and judgmental, constantly making nasty comments about how hard I work and comparing her previous marriage to my relationship with my husband. One day, I had enough and told her she needed to move on from her previous relationship with my husband. Surprisingly, my spouse supported me, and she changed her conduct.”
“Now, this is where things become complex. She has been unemployed for 15 years and relies on her children to receive more time and money from my husband. She’s recently begun exploiting her health concerns to gain sympathy from my husband, requesting him to accompany her to doctor visits and making reasons not to drive alone. Despite having a boyfriend and family nearby, she wants to accompany us on family outings with the kids.
She recently told my husband that she doesn’t feel good enough to care for her children. Currently, they share custody, and the kids remain with us every other weekend and during school breaks.”
“She recommended that I sell my house, which I purchased before meeting my husband, and construct her a little house on the ground near us. I was astounded by her suggestion. When I offered to have the children live with us, she declined, stating that she wanted to be close to them and does not trust us to raise them correctly. She also stated that my spouse had sworn vows to her before me. I feel insulted and upset.
Some of my in-laws think I’m selfish and don’t need such a large house. My husband hasn’t expressed his thoughts either way, which is annoying. I want to stand my ground, but I’m starting to feel bad because she’s unwell.
“But I have resolved to stand my ground. I told my husband that there was no way I was selling my house. I mentioned that my residence is an investment in my children’s future.
He consented and stated that he felt awful about exploring the notion, but was pressured by his ex due to her health.
He contacted her and told her that he would no longer be used as a stand-in for her partner and that she needed to stop manipulating others. She began crying and stated that she was ill and needed to go to the emergency room. She hung up, blocking both of us. I sent her an email stating the boundaries. “I am furious right now.”
