A man, utterly exhausted from years of being henpecked and bossed around by his wife, finally decided he had had enough. He scheduled an emergency appointment with a top psychiatrist to reclaim his manhood.
After listening to the man’s grievances, the psychiatrist told him that his problem was a total lack of self-esteem. He handed the husband a thick, best-selling book on radical assertiveness training and alpha-male behavior. The man was so desperate for change that he read the book cover-to-cover on his commute home, absorbing every single ounce of psychological empowerment.
By the time he pulled into his driveway, he was a completely changed man. He felt a surge of unearned confidence coursing through his veins.
He slammed the car door, marched up the steps, and kicked the front door wide open. Storming into the living room, he walked right up to his wife, aggressively pointed a finger directly at her face, and barked, “Listen to me, woman! From this exact moment on, I am the undisputed alpha male of this house, and my word is absolute law! Tonight, I want a three-course gourmet meal prepared for me, followed by an elegant dessert.”
His wife stared at him, her face completely expressionless.
The husband, feeling invincible, leaned in closer. “After dinner, you are going to draw me a steaming hot bath so I can unwind from my stressful day. And when I am finished soaking in the tub, guess who is going to dress me in my finest suit and carefully comb my hair?”
His wife didn’t blink. A slow, chilling smile spread across her face as she replied sweetly:
“The funeral director.”
